Not bad...got some suggestions though
This thing's got some energy, my friend, that's for sure! I like how melodic it is; it reminds me of something Misery Signals would make. However, there are a few things I think you could do that would GREATLY improve the quality.
Right now, the guitar seems to be holding two parts: The guitar, obviously, and the bass (which makes it difficult for me to tell if you used a bass or not). I'm not entirely sure what kind of equipment you used to record, but it sounds like you recorded the guitar straight from an amp's preamp -- which isn't necessarily a bad thing, but I've found that fully digital preamps (i.e., Rocktron, etc.) work substantially better... or maybe that's just personal preference lol... but still, the digital preamp seems easier to mix IMO. And then what you can do is cut out the unnecessary frequencies in the bass of the guitar, letting the bass hold those frequencies; it might make your guitar sound like a pussy at first, but trust me, that bass adds a whole new element to the sound that can seriously bring out the darkness in everything else like no other.
Like the guy below me said, your drums and vocals seem drowned out by the guitar, and not nearly as present as they need to be. The drums just take some mastering; make sure your kick drum and snare REALLY shine, putting the kick in a bass frequency designation not occupied by the bass and the snare in the high mids, presence or treble region (that's personal preference on how dark/light you want it to sound). The vocals, on the other hand, are a little trickier, requiring the right amount of volume not to distort, and also the right mix in the mid frequencies so as not to sound too much like a telephone but not like you're singing into a blanket either. I'm not necessarily an expert, so a lot of this is just from my own experimentation. I guess that's the main thing with the mixing process: Just experiment till you get the sound you want!
Now, on the song's technique. Because of the melodic-ness of the song and the slow tempo, the guitar and drums sometimes feel out of phase with each other. It takes MULTIPLE -- sometimes hundreds -- of takes to get the exact guitar and drum line-up you want, and I even suggest just breaking the song up into parts and recording only about eight bars at a time instead of recording one giant track in the home recording scenario. This is because it becomes easier for you to realize where you made the mistake, and you can correct it more easily. Listening to the drum track while you play instead of a metronome also helps because it puts you into the feeling of the song and it's easier to here the tasty beats with the guitar.
Finally, on your vocals...As I read in your note, you hate your vocals lol. Well, you're not the only one man! I hate my voice too much of the time, but I've found two things help when it comes to singing: Practice singing with songs in your car (stupid, I know, but it's one of the only places I feel unashamed to belt it lol), and, something I learned in choir (and this applies to screaming as well), you gotta sing "from your core." Right now, it sounds like you're singing straight from your throat, and it sounds strained. Even relatively high singers, like from Dance Gavin Dance, sing from their core, and it's obvious the singers from August Burns Red and Killswitch Engage do the same. Here's how you know you're singing from your core: It feels like you're taking a shit constantly, and you can feel the push from your diaphragm. Try also to open up the back of your throat and focus the sound at the "front of your teeth," so to speak. I know this sounds ridiculous, but just practice it and listen to the quality of your voice when you record, tweaking it in places when you need to.
Alright, that was an ungodly long review I know, but there's so much potential here man; it reminds me of the song that I'm making right now lol. Good luck in the deathmatch man, and keep it up!
8/10
5/5
Ganondorf's War